I’m Nyla
I coach women to rip up the "good girl" script and rewrite their rules of intimacy, relationships and success — for a life that feels unbound, unapologetic and deeply their own.
I know what it's like to lose yourself so completely that you stop recognising the woman in the mirror. To have been the responsible one, the achiever, the good girl for so long that you've no idea what you actually want anymore.
That's why I guide women to shed the old conditioning they’ve outgrown, reclaim their voice, and build the kind of self-trust that makes them unshakable.
My Story
For years I was the responsible one — the people-pleaser, the shape-shifter, the one who bit her tongue to keep the peace. I spent decades collecting labels I thought would make other people love me. The achiever. The role model. The sensible one. I was exhausted by all of them.
When my marriage broke down, it felt like a death. Everything I'd imagined my life would be, gone. And with it came an unexpected loss of community too — people who struggled with who I was becoming, and quietly stepped away. I was left with very few friends, almost no family support, and a grief I didn't have language for yet.
Rock bottom turned out to be clarifying. When you have nothing left to lose, you stop performing. For the first time, I let the younger, less-edited part of me speak. I questioned everything about my life — every belief, every structure, every relationship pattern I'd accepted as just the way things were. I found my way into sex-positive spaces, ethical non-monogamy, into a life with far more pleasure and far less shame in it. I rebuilt slowly, without a blueprint, toward a life I couldn't have imagined from where I'd started, because none of the available examples were ones I wanted to choose.
I'm now living my fourth chapter. Each one has required me to grieve the last. Each one has been worth it.
My Approach
My approach blends psychosynthesis — a transpersonal psychology that sees you as whole, with my lived experience of tearing up the "good girl" script. Together we work with the inner parts of you (the Pleaser, the Critic, the Protector) so you can lead from a calm, grounded self.
The gap between knowing something needs to change and actually living differently — that's the territory I know best. I've spent twenty years watching it play out, in boardrooms and in personal life. Leaders with all the climate data who still can't make different decisions. Women standing at the threshold of the next chapter, held back by everything familiar even when they know it isn't working.
I'm living the fourth chapter. Each one required me to grieve the last, fumble through the uncomfortable in-between, and trust that something better was on the other side. That's why my coaching feels like sitting with a wise friend who gets both the mess and the magic.
We can do hard things.
Why This Matters
You probably already know, somewhere, what needs to change. You might have spent a long time understanding your patterns, working on yourself, getting clearer on what you don't want. But there's a gap between knowing and actually living differently. That gap can feel enormous, especially when the people around you don't quite get what you're going through.
Whether you’re navigating ENM, dating again or you’re in a long-term relationship, I can help you to:
Stop giving yourself away through people-pleasing and over-giving.
Set embodied boundaries and actually feel safe holding them.
Trust your body’s wisdom instead of spiralling in self-doubt.
Build relationships that feel grounded, emotionally mature and truly nourishing.
This isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about coming back to who you’ve always been - before self-doubt, before you learned to shrink, before the “good girl” conditioning took hold.
Ready to Begin?
If this resonates, I’d love to walk beside you as you step out of the old script and into clarity, confidence and connection.